falling asleep smiling
by Jenai-the one who loves
Summary: trial story before the lengthier version. Hinata's pain of not winning naruto's affections and not moving forward like her friends. story has no real point. . . yet


I can hardly see where I'm going because the tears won't stop

I don't know where I've run to but I can't stop running, I won't stop

I can't handle the pain but I have to because now it's all I know

* * *

I finally stop running, deep in the heart of the forest, I have know idea how to get home, but I don't care, I don't want to go home, I don't want to go back to the life I have, tormented by the confidence of others, the confidence I lack, the bravery and strength my friends have gained while leaving me behind in the dirt to only watch them achieve greatness, never taking those chances myself.

It is well past night fall and my tears are finally decreasing, my sobs have become less and I am feeling less sorry for myself.

But then I think about how pointless my existence is. Would Naruto or the others even notice if I didn't turn up tomorrow?

I know in my heart it doesn't matter I'll never take the chance to find out, I could never leave, that would disgrace my clan, I some times think maybe Neji was right, I will never change! I will never let myself take that chance. And again the world fades from my vision as I let the tears well up in my eyes again and as though the heavens share my pain they broke open spilling rain that mingled with my tears, cleansing me, as if to attempt to wash the pain away.

* * *

It must have been hours since I came here, and now I am soaked, cold, upset and beginning to feel slightly afraid, the trees stretch over me like claws and the wind howls at me like it has found it's prey.

"How do I get out of here?" I asked myself, still not ready to leave but willing myself to think of a plan to get out of here.

"_It depends if you are ready to move on and accept that nothing will ever change unless you make an effort to make it? I tired of playing second string; it's time to prove to myself I can do this!" _I thought to myself and nodded "_alright, clear my thoughts, because if I am distracted this won't work."_

Bykugan activated I picked my way through the forest, covered in mud and drenched to the bone but standing strong. Coming to the border of the forest I no longer needed my Bykugan for I recognised the way.

* * *

Upon entering the Hyuga compound I felt eyes upon my, sensing my presence has been noticed, I knew there'd be questions, there always are, but tonight more so because it's past midnight and I'm covered with mud. So picking up speed, I headed quickly to my room to find peace, peace in which I did not emerge from for several days.

* * *

Early morning I was woken up by gentle tapping against my door, this caught my attention knock was not one I could connect to anyone from the house hold or the servants. It had been days since I had allowed anyone to speak with me, but curiosity got the better of me, plus I decided that I had better soak in some sun light or I might just die of a vitamin D deficiency.

"Hinata?" the usual bubbly voice of Sakura sliced through my thinking softly, like a warm knife through butter "Hinata, it's me Sakura, I hope this isn't a bad time, but we haven't seen you in ages and well a few of us are going to meet up and get ramen soon, and I was just thinking I'd see if you wanted to come along"

Walking to the door and sliding it open to see a smiling Sakura in a sweet pink summer dress, the one that Sakura, Ino and I had bought together when shopping, we had bought matching dresses, Sakura pink, Ino blue and my own was purple, I smiled remembering the fun we had had.

"Isn't it a little early to be having ramen Sakura?" I asked while allowing her to step into my room, curiosity bubbling inside me once more as she raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly.

"Um its 4:30, so yeh I guess it's kinda early for dinner but not by much"

"Four thirty…" I couldn't believe it "oh I guess I didn't notice" my voice trailed off and Sakura smiled but not unkindly.

"I think I know how your feeling" she smiled "something been on your mind lately" she questioned sitting down on my futon and motioning me to sit with her.

And so our conversation deepened into a serious discussion that lasted til 5:00

* * *

"I'm really glad you spoke to me about this Hinata, and like I said I know how you feel, but you have to rise to the challenge of life and not just lock yourself away, but I can see that you've been using your time to think, so now I have only one solution!"

"What's that?" I asked, I felt closely connected with the pink haired medic-nin but I'm still unsure about where she was heading.

"Well I say lets get you cleaned up a bit and get you looking fabulous, then we'll grab Neji and head out where you can reconnect with the group, cause I know for a fact Ino has been dying to tell you her latest round of gossip!" Sakura grinned from ear to ear.

Smiling at her enthusiasm a question was brought to my lips.

"Why are we grabbing Neji for?"

"well I figured if he thinks he can stand behind the door with Hanabi and listen to us talk without being caught, I think he owes us a bowl of ramen each thankyou very much" Sakura laughed as an audible "Hn" sounded from my usually silent cousin hiding behind the door "so be ready at 5:30 Neji!" Sakura yelled then dragged me into my bathroom.

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity of Sakura's preening and giggling along with my own of course, we stepped out into the Hyuga front gardens, twirling in my purple dress that matched Sakura's, feeling the light breeze caress my body as if to make my worries and thoughts float away even if only for tonight, the relief that was brought to me was enough to make me laugh, Sakura understanding my feelings laughed along with me making a bubbly melody that stirred curiosity from many of the other house hold members, who's eyes turned to us through walls, doors and plants, and earned a smirk from Neji as he stepped out of door and ushered us down the pathway.

The walk went far to quickly as Sakura's energy brought out the best in Neji, her chatter keeping us entertained as Neji sometimes threw in a quick comment that either made us laugh or made Sakura pretend to be mad, approaching the light of the ramen stand I could see the other 8 from the chunnin exams, I smile at the group and think about how close a group we have become. Seeing blonde hair and orange jumpsuit standing out in the crowd made my breath catch in my throat, but it was to late to turn back now as he just turn and was waving his chopsticks around screaming "Sakura, Sakura!" dropping his chopsticks and running full speed towards us and launching a full tackle style hug on Sakura "hi Sakura, oh hey Neji, hey Hinata, you guys look nice" Naruto yelled with joy and I felt my face turn pink "come on Sakura come get some ramen" and grabbing Sakura's hand he tried to drag her away, I felt that small tug of defeat as I saw this, but soon forgot it when Sakura reached back and pulled me along for the ride.

* * *

By the end of the night most had drifted home, but Ino, Sakura, Neji, Naruto and I had stayed laughing at Ino and Sakura's attempts to get my cousin to dance to the radio music playing over the speakers of the ramen stand, this leaving Naruto and I to chuckle and talk a bit, well really he asked questions and I just kinda sat around blushing.

"So then I made my multi-shadow clones and got them to perform the Rasengan, and cause we were underwater it created this whirlpool and-"

"Naruto, you've told that story ten times tonight already give it a rest! Now come and help make Neji dance!" Sakura yelled, feeling slightly disappointed that yet again I had lost Naruto to a girl who didn't even like him like I do, but then as Naruto stood up he reached out his hand to my and said "Come on Hinata! Lets have some fun" indicating towards the funniest sight of my life, Neji, after refusing to dance had caused Ino and Sakura to team up and launch non threatening attacks at him, making him leap around in a fashion that could be mistaken for dancing as Ino and Sakura's attacks were to the beat of the song playing. Joining the group I could clearly see Neji was enjoying himself.

We danced for maybe an hour before the ramen stand was beginning to close up, and we were beginning to say our goodnights.

* * *

"G-good night Naruto" I said and caught in shock as I received a quick hug, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks I didn't look up till Naruto had turned around and walked off in the other direction and yelled "Night Hinata" waving his hand over his shoulder "I'm glad you came" as he disappeared into the shadows.

* * *

During the walk home I couldn't stop smiling, as a walked beside Sakura who was holding onto Neji's arm, I could tell that there might be more to their friendship now but I was too happy to think it further

Collapsing on my bed I thought to myself _"so no, I did not get my romance with Naruto, but we became closer friends and I got to know him better! And I wouldn't want it any other way"_

And as I fell asleep with I smile on my face looking up at the moon through my windows, I felt happy knowing that Naruto was sleeping under the same beautiful sky.

* * *

**Well I hoped you liked it.**

**If you didn't please tell me where I went wrong, and maybe explain why you kept reading lol jks jks. Um I was thinking about making this into an actually story with 12 chapters and in greater detail etc. Except making it more NejiXSakurabut still the main focus on the one sided HinataXNaruto, anyhoo plz R&R as I really do appreciate it. -**

**Jenai OOXX**


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